(To the tune of London Bridge)
The Soviet Union's falling down
Falling down
Failling down
The Soviet Union's falling down
Oh! Poor Gorby!!
(To the tune of Clementine)
In the Cold War,
In the Cold War
We were scared of dominoes
There was Mikhail there was Reagan
USA and Soviet Union
Just recalling a bit of secondary school history. The Object, being a Historical Object...er I mean history student...will probably be able to write much more meaningful nursery rhymes than this.
Here's a story made out of Trashy Songs that drifted through my head as I was walking to biochemistry this morning. Titles of Trashy (and less trashy) songs are italicised:
Once upon a time, Tarzan and Jane (Toybox) were both In the Navy (Village People). Jane said that Tarzan was her Best Friend (Toybox). Tarzan decided that this story was getting very lame and boring, and decided to convert it into a Love Story (Taylor), so he and Jane had a White Wedding (Billy Idol). Not long after, Tarzan appeared to be Dizzy (Tommy Roe) with delight, running around the ship exclaiming: 'Jane is Having My Baby (Paul Anka)'. The other sailors in the Navy were very happy and performed a gun salute, which went Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! (Vengaboys).
Soon the baby was born, and she was delivered by Dr. Jones (Aqua). Tarzan and Jane were thrilled with their beautiful baby, and named her Rosanna (Toto). Unfortunately, they had been too busy go to shopping, so there was No Milk Today (Herman's Hermits) to feed the baby. It took a very long time to calm the crying baby down, after which Tarzan and Jane were very grateful for The Sound of Silence (Simon Garfunkel). Tarzan then looked at the and whispered 'Oh My Sleeping Child (Michael Learns to Rock). Being the silly ape man he was, he climbed to the top of a tree (yes I KNOW they were on a ship..just pretend there was a tree there okay?) and placed the baby in a cradle on a high branch. Tarzan had obviously never done O level maths and knew nothing about angles of Elevation (U2).
Fortunately, when the bough broke and the cradle fell, the baby did not suffer a terrible fate as she was caught in mid air by a very large locust. Tarzan yelled out to thank the locust, but the insect replied 'Don't thank me, thank the Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler).'
Tarzan felt very guilty about what he had done to the baby and vowed never to do it again. 'Suddenly I See (K.T. Turnstall),' he said. 'How foolish I was.'
The End. Have a Nice Day (Bon Jovi)
Friday, 30 January 2009
Trashy Songs and Nursery Rhymes
Posted by Locustling at 06:02 0 comments
Labels: Study-induced fatigue
Thursday, 29 January 2009
PESSless PESS
For some reason, some symptoms of PESS are actually occurring outside the realm of PESS (defined as a reaction to stress inflicted by essays deadlines, preparation and anxiety about exams etc). They are now occurring even when the typical stress suffered by The Creature and The Object is not full-blown, which is a new development that much be chronicled in detail on The Blog for future reference and research. Below are some examples of this new development:
Specimen 4.1 and 4.2 are good examples of conversations that take place outside the realm of PESS, but which exhibit distinct PESS-like symptoms. Vaguely worrying.
Posted by kitty at 05:32 0 comments
Labels: Chinese, MSN doodles
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Send Me Postcards from L.A.
As above. Ooops! I only drew ONE postcard!
Also, check out 'the little yellow flower from the story' (aka gu shi de xiao huang hua).
Posted by Locustling at 16:11 0 comments
Labels: Study-induced fatigue
Monday, 26 January 2009
The Thes' Obsession with CNY Traditions
Unconventional CNY customs pioneered by the Thes:
1. Getting 8 (or 888) or any auspicious sounding number of songs in your playlist
2. Rejoicing if your mobile number contains the digit 8 (mine doesn't!!!!)
3. Despairing if it doesn't
4. Buying a pack of smoked salmon to fulfill your quota of Yu
5. Downloading, blasting, singing along to and doing actions for assorted chinese songs you'd never otherwise listen to
6. Putting up Auspicious displays such as The Prosperous 2kg Bag of Rice (see The Object's previous post)
7. Defining 'auspicious' and 'not auspicious' radio stations. Damien Rice doesn't fulfil the criteria for the Certification of Auspiciousness
8. Ensuring that your list of unconventional CNY customs has 8 articles in it (that explains article 2 and 3 being separated)
Below is the conversation which I shall aptly title 'The Obsession with 8'.
Zonocerus elegans says:
oranges!
*ning (: says:
seriously man
Zonocerus elegans says:
I don't have!
*ning (: says:
when CNY comes round
*ning (: says:
( I ALSO)
Zonocerus elegans says:
oh no!
*ning (: says:
I NEED
*ning (: says:
somehow or other
*ning (: says:
the chinese customs will all come out
*ning (: says:
vacuum house when it nromally doesnt get vacuum
Zonocerus elegans says:
I wore a red shirt AND red jacket today
*ning (: says:
i LOLed at that
Zonocerus elegans says:
none of the other people did
Zonocerus elegans says:
hahahaha
*ning (: says:
hahah
*ning (: says:
i wore pink underneath
*ning (: says:
haha
*ning (: says:
and then the obsession with 8s
*ning (: says:
and fish (me)
*ning (: says:
and rice
*ning (: says:
hahah
*ning (: says:
man
*ning (: says:
and cheena songs
*ning (: says:
haha
Zonocerus elegans says:
oh I think the 8 obsession was my fault
Zonocerus elegans says:
hahahaha
*ning (: says:
hahaha
*ning (: says:
yeah it was
Zonocerus elegans says:
my room number is 8
Zonocerus elegans says:
so auspicious
*ning (: says:
WAH
Zonocerus elegans says:
LOL
*ning (: says:
SO GOOD
*ning (: says:
i have an 8 in my mobile number
*ning (: says:
hahahha
Zonocerus elegans says:
OMG
Zonocerus elegans says:
that is
Zonocerus elegans says:
HILARIOUS
Posted by Locustling at 15:32 0 comments
Saturday, 24 January 2009
嘁得隆冬镪咚镪 Chi-Da-Lun-Don-Chun-Dun-Chun!
CNY + PES = A Deadly Combination. (as some of the following will show...)
The Eve of CNY 2009 Eve was marked by a desperate race of the part of The Creature to accumulate 888 songs on its playlist before CNY dawned on us, a parallel race on the part of The Object to increase its Inspirational Songs playslist to 8 songs, because 4 is (CHOY!) an unlucky number...
And then came: the Springcleaning, in which both The Creature and The Object embarked on some last minute springcleaning. Which consisted of vacuuming the computer keyboard and placing a 2kg pack of rice on the dresser (which is looking very prosperous at the moment).
And THEN, came the CNY songs! Which both Thes sought to sing along to, in their very elementary chinese...and putting 拜 年on repeat. Another incident which should also be mentioned is that The Object mistook Cai Shen for a vegetable. (he's actually the Fortune God. *faints).
This day/ night shall be preserved for posterity. He xin nian zu xin nian..... :D Happy CNY 2009 everyone!
Posted by kitty at 21:03 0 comments
Labels: Chinese, Study-induced fatigue
The Essence of Chloroplastness
The Creature's definition of a chloroplast, or whatever this mysterious organelle distorted by years of memory deterioration is. Really, the Creature should know better having been through the horrors of 1A Biology of Cells and 1B Cell and Developmental Biology.
Zonocerus elegans says:
hahahaha!
Zonocerus elegans says:
mitochondrion!
*ning says:
oh tts a mitochondrion?
*ning says:
i meant to draw a chhloroplast
Zonocerus elegans says:
ah it's a chloroplast?
Zonocerus elegans says:
haha!
Zonocerus elegans says:
looks like a mitochondrion
*ning says:
i udunno, u tell me
Zonocerus elegans says:
if you intended it to be a chloroplast then it has the essence of chloroplastness
Zonocerus elegans says:
so only you can tell me if it's a chloroplast or not
*ning says:
i meant to draw a chloroplast.
*ning says:
essence of chloroplastness? wth?
*ning says:
O_O
Zonocerus elegans says:
(LOLing)
*ning says:
tt was so mock serious
Zonocerus elegans says:
hahahahaha
Zonocerus elegans says:
I'm dying of laughter
Zonocerus elegans says:
and it's green
Zonocerus elegans says:
so it's a chloroplast
Zonocerus elegans says:
period.
Posted by Locustling at 08:15 0 comments
Labels: MSN doodles
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Symptoms of Study Fatigue
Note: There is a fundamental difference between using yellow light in photosynthesis and using yellow light (because you have no choice but to do otherwise) to make your paper look yellow and give you a headache. I apologise if the following conversation doesn't make any sense. The randomness epitomised here shows how bad essays are for your state of mind.
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
boom
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
boom
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
boom
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
boom
Schistocerca gregaria says:
LOL!
Schistocerca gregaria says:
hahaha
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
(see how bored i am)
Schistocerca gregaria says:
I'm stoning
Schistocerca gregaria says:
I really don't care about bacterial photosynthesis
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
and i really REALLU don't care abt imerpialism
Schistocerca gregaria says:
ugh
Schistocerca gregaria says:
at least imperialism doesn't absorb at assorted weird wavelengths you must remember
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
true....
Schistocerca gregaria says:
goodness I'm getting so pissed with the yellow light
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
out of context
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
tt sounds totally weird
Schistocerca gregaria says:
hahaha
Schistocerca gregaria says:
yeah it does
Schistocerca gregaria says:
there's a reason you print things on white paper
Schistocerca gregaria says:
it improves contrast
Schistocerca gregaria says:
and putting a yellow light completely defeats the purpose
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says: OH
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
i thought
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
u mean
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
yellow light
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
in photosynthesis
Schistocerca gregaria says:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Schistocerca gregaria says:
*bangs head on table
Schistocerca gregaria says:
hahahahahahahaha
*ning (: -is DONE with collective security & REALLY doesn't want to touch it anymore. IMPERIALISM now- says:
GF !
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
ok am htinking abt the yellow light
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
and then suddenly thought abt the red pill/ blue pill thing
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
i think the link is the colours
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
haha
Schistocerca gregaria says:
LOL!
Schistocerca gregaria says:
so random!
Schistocerca gregaria says:
sheesh wrong blog
Schistocerca gregaria says:
*BANGS HEAD ON WALL
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
haha
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
which blog?
Schistocerca gregaria says:
I nearly posted to my blog
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
ah
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
just copy paste
Schistocerca gregaria says:
yeah
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
HOOHAH
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
HOO
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
HAH
Schistocerca gregaria says:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Schistocerca gregaria says:
PESS strikes again
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
the PESS strikes back...
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- says:
use the Force...
*ning (: -IMPERIALISM- hit me with laser gun!!!!!!!!! says:
hit me with laser gun
Posted by Locustling at 14:41 0 comments
Labels: Study-induced fatigue
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
The Degenerate State of Our Mandarin
This is a very good example of The (very) Degenerate State of Our Mandarin, which is very much limited to primary school level, sad to say...
xiao sheng xiang, "ling! ling!" tong xue men pao chu ke shi...
Posted by kitty at 13:52 0 comments
Labels: Chinese
Sunday, 18 January 2009
The Beginning of The Blog
Welcome to The Blog!
First, a little history. The Blog was born out of the urgent need of The Creature and the strange yellow Object to relieve the symptoms of Pre-Exam Stress Syndrome (PESS). Never mind the fact that exams are 6 months away...PESS has been going on for quite some time (since the start of the academic year in fact).
The Blog is The Blog because of a common statement made by The Creature and The Object on MSN whenever something too random for belief is thrown up under the influence of PESS. The Statement goes:
'This goes on The Blog'
So here you have it. The Blog. Let the randomness begin!
Posted by Locustling at 08:15 0 comments